Baby Products: Sterilization Through Microwaves!

My wife is one of those folks who wants to believe so badly in sterilization.  A byproduct of this desire to be free of germs is her interest in products that “simplify” the process of cleansing things.  In the case of this discussion, I am talking about the sterilization of baby bottles.

I knew nothing of baby bottles and the aggravation they would bring to my household as far as cleaning them goes.  When we went to Florida, we had to wash these things by hand and at home, I toss them in my dishwasher.  There is, however, a belief held by some women, that you have to sterilize these bottles every time you clean them.  There are however, those who say sterilization is only needed every 30 days or so.  There are also those who say sterilize only once – right out of the package as the instructions direct, and never again. Back to the simplification…

Well damn, it even comes with a nipple brush!
Well damn, it even comes with a nipple brush!

Introducing the Munchkin Steam Guard Microwave Sterilizer, the most convenient and quickest way to strip your bottles, nipples, seals, and yes, even your breast pump, clean as a whistle.  What kind of evil magic is this thing made of that allows it to do such wondrous work?  Steam, of course, and your microwave as well.  You should read the instructions though.  See where it says two minutes?  That time is based solely on your microwave’s wattage.  Also, this thing is pretty big, so small microwaves pretty much need not apply.

We purchased this item for our trip to Florida because we wanted to be able to keep our child germ free.  The first night in our hotel I pulled this thing out and skimmed the instruction booklet.  First thing to do was put approximately 7 oz. of water in the base.  Why not 8 to make it an easy cup, who knows.  The next things to do was to maneuver this elegantly designed piece of plasticware that worked not a damn bit:

It looks strangely similar to one side of the cube from Hellraiser.
It looks strangely similar to one side of the cube from Hellraiser.

Seriously.  This thing is by no means following a bottle standard, I could not get any of the bottles to snap into the thing and her taller bottles did not even fit right.  Everything else fit, but not the things that matter.  This thing pissed me off and it caused a small domestic squabble.  Remember how you should pass if you have a small microwave?  Well, that’s what you get in a hotel.  The Steam Guard had to be forced into the microwave.  I then noticed that with a full load, the lid would not shut appropriately.  I then researched the need to sterilize and read from many PHDs…

You really only have to sterilize once, and that’s right out of the package. – Many PHDs on the Internets.

I put this shit back in the package and decided a refund was needed.  If you have a baby and you have to sterilize, just go buy a big pot and boil everything at once for ten minutes.  Don’t waste your time with this piece of garbage.  1 out of 5 stars.  1 star only because it had a bottle and nipple brush.

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